i would rather be HATED for who i AMthan LOVED for who i am NOT
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Posted by: cr8zybikr

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Original: 8/4/2006 10:43 AM
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2 eProps!2 eProps! 2 eProps from:
the_heart_of_a_child
mimegirl


Friday, August 04, 2006

 hey everybody whats going on? nm here.....just living life and hopin it gets better. i guess its not too bad but every time anyone says anything i think of seth.........god i miss him!!! i miss him so much!!! why?!?! that was my brother why did he have to go? oh god!!!! life doesnt even seem worth it.....the only thing keeping me alive is knowing that that would kill my family....b/c they love me and dont need to deal with another death....and the fact that my Baby loves me and will be here soon! i miss him sooo much and love him even more!!!!

i dont mean to sound all sad and depressed.........sorry......i just wish that it wasnt something thats always on my mind!!!! it kills me to no end to think i didnt call him as much as i wanted to and i didnt tell him i lvoed him enough!!! i swear if i love someone i will never ever get off that phone or walk away w/o saying i love you cuz you never know when they're gonna or you're gonna die. its not a happy thing to think about but i do cuz its always here.....in my head. listen to me i sound like a freakin stupid human being!!! like thats unusual! those of you who have no idea what its like to lose someone who you were just starting to get to know.....be careful but dont waste time in getting to know them.....if you love someone then make sure they know!!!!! god i wish i...........couldve said more to seth! it kills me!! i love my bro!! my wangsta!!! hehe (remember britt?) silly ole seth always trying to make ppl smile and laugh! he was a good man!! he changed sooo much! in a good way........and im sorry for those of you who never had the privilege of meeting or knowing him better!! america's finest!! thats what he was! he will never know how many pplz lives he touched and influenced! just like most of us will never know the impact he had or any of us have/had on anybody!

ya know i wrote a pretty mean letter to some of you and i just wanted to publicly apologize........i dont know that i ever actually apologized to any of you......please except this apology!! im sorry! im sorry for what i said--i dont even remember what i said anymore i just know that it was probly not the nicest things!

oh god! isaiah..........i love him so much!! my big lil brother! hehe! go the right way....you KNOW which way that is! be careful in the choices you make........be good and most of all love and respect your parents!! they love you soooo much just as the rest of us do! well....i guess i should stop crying and get to work! w/e life's too short!! so.....eat dessert first! as my dad always says! love you all!!! ttyl! byez!
 Posted 8/4/2006 10:43 AM - 21 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments

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Visit the_heart_of_a_child's Xanga Site!

wow- grace... sounds like a lots goin' on. Hey we needs to hang- give me a call. I love you

My-shellie

Posted 8/4/2006 12:45 PM by the_heart_of_a_child - reply

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Hi my dear, just wanted to say I love you so very much and call me whenever you want to talk or cry about Seth.  He's been on my mind a lot lately too.  I thought about calling you tonight to see how you were.  Maybe I should have.  Sometimes when I think about Seth I get this overwhelming sadness that makes it almost hard to breathe.  I set up a couple of websites if you want to see them.  www.xanga.com/lifewithoutsjm is my xanga where i journal my thoughts about him.  You won't be able to see the posts til I add you to the protected list, but I will do that tonight.  the other site is a myspace wwww.myspace.com/chemlightoscarmyers where a bunch of his friends became his "friends" and they're leaving thoughts/last words to Seth.  I miss your brother so much!  I know that the way I miss him and loved him are different than the way you do, but it hurts just the same.  For real Grace, call me anytime you want to talk!  I love you!!!!!!!
Posted 8/4/2006 11:01 PM by mimegirl - reply


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